Posts by Crisis of Conscience

42

Do you still pray? Why?

by gubberningbody in

jw
friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ilzaaami.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazdcs-rmf4.

Crisis of Conscience

I'm trying to keep it up but I feel somewhat disconnected at the moment.

And I've been wondering why we have to ask God for things so much, repeatedly. I mean if he can read the heart and knows what we need before we do, how many times do I have to ask?

I like to illustrate it like this: Someone has a snakebite and needs an antidote, which you have in your possession. You can readily perceive this person needs help, perhaps without him saying a thing. But yet you expect him to keep asking you for the antidote, even begging you. And you respond that you realize what he needs but then proceed to say to please ask you again.

Why would any loving human do that? That's how I been feeling about God and seemingly unanswered prayers. It's been awhile too but I'm really starting to realize it now.

I haven't given up.... yet.

As far as why, I guess I still accept that there has to be a greater being out there. And it is what I have been taught.

33

You ever drive to the meeting, or field service meeting point, and do a U-Turn and go back home?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i did this today.

last night, the pretty little weather girl stated there would "be heavy rain marked by occasional thunderstorms.

" i thought to myself, great, hopefully its so bad when i awaken, anybody originally planning on going out, will just stay home.

Crisis of Conscience

I can't quite remember turning around and going home but I'm sure I have to have done it at least once.

Anyway more recently I went out one morning that my wife wasn't going out because of work. There was only one sister there and she thought about someone else that would go out, much to my dismay. Being the brother "taking the lead"™, I thought to my self, AWWWW Hell no! So as a responsible brother I said, "Why don't you two sisters go together and I'll take care of somethings I have to handle this morning."

I went home, worked out, showered, played a videogame, and went to meet my wife for lunch.

Never new I could accomplish so much during a morning of field service! Best day ever! Lately I've just been not going altogether. Love my bed!!

12

Do JW's get "Brownie Points" for Converting People?

by OnTheWayOut in

an older clip, but joel engardio who produced "knocking" thinks they do not.. http://www.mefeedia.com/watch/30425016.

Crisis of Conscience

White Doveshe had 5 BS at the time

Doesn't BS normally stand for Bull S**T? So where did this woman find all this crap? Was she raised on a farm? LOL

75

How Many Here Actually "Handled The Microphones"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

.

Crisis of Conscience

OOH!! Pick me!! Pick me!!

I had the "privilege" and currently still do. I don't mind handling the mics or even the sound booth. It keeps me distracted.

And while doing the sound recently during the meeting, I "paid attention"...............to my cellphone. I viewed and read this apostate website! The Horror!! I'm going to die!! LOL

30

If still "in", how do you feel when praying in front of a group despite being in doubt of your beliefs?

by Crisis of Conscience in

jw
friends

it happened to me this weekend.

i'm curently "active" and had some long time friends from a different congregation over for dinner.. we went through the formality of praying before the meal.

normally or rather lately i've been passing it off to someone else.

Crisis of Conscience

It happened to me this weekend. I'm curently "active" and had some long time friends from a different congregation over for dinner.

We went through the formality of praying before the meal. Normally or rather lately I've been passing it off to someone else. But for some reason this time I didn't do it. Instead I went for it and prayed. And for the first time I felt and noticed in myself a complete disconnection. Everything I said I feel just came out because that is what I have been taught or conditioned to say over the years. They had some meaning in the past, I admit, and sometimes strongly. But this time, nothing. And I don't even feel guilty about it.

I'm actually in shock that I feel like this so quickly. That I have come to this realization. Perhaps the "truth" never did really take root in my heart.

I guess I can consider that a good thing. But at the same time it makes me wonder how many more times I'm going to be in that situation, especially since I'm not in a position to leave the org right now nor have decided if or how it would happen. And how am I going to handle it?

So of those here that were/are in that position, how did/do you feel? What thoughts went/go through your head as you spew out random thoughts to appease the believers? Were/are you able to handle it? Or how did/do you handle it?

Thanks in advance for the responses and feel free to include experiences that others can benefit from.

31

privilleges equals spirituality

by stillin in

jw
friends

what a sad joke!

posters here talk about the "do more" pushiness in the organization and that is so true!

elders just assume that you want to carry microphones and work your way up the spiritual ladder to that blissful state of total immersion in "kingdom matters.

Crisis of Conscience

poor places & cult classic

I completely agree, 100%. Over the last 2 years or so, I've been spoken to about all those things. I'm currently an MS. The elders have been wanting to recommend me. Service hours were no problem but supposedly commenting was, more so on my wife's part. And they spoke to me about a few other things. I was all for it and doing my best to fit the mold until I really started questioning how the Holy Spirit is invoved in all this. What does it take to be perfect in the little things that aren't scriptual?

I said to myself, how can an elder or his wife not comment enough or not support Saturday service, or whatever else, continue to do that and not loose his "privilege" of being an elder? But supposedly I wasn't meeting the qualifications because I was lacking.

Now I've never been after a position, so that didn't upset me, but it just didn't make sense. You are exempt when you become an elder? So the last time I was talked to about it I let the brothers know that right now I do not want to be an elder. Who would've thought that after I started questioning things and researching I would've come to the conclusion that I NEVER want to be an elder.

I was appointed a servant in my late teens. That should have never happened. Holy spirit? I doubt it! And all these years, though I've strived to become more 'spiritual', I have never felt it, even despite praying for it. Yet the brothers say it is obvious that I've been blessed and have God's spirit. Whatever!

I know I've rambled a bit but all in all, privileges never define spirituality. If it did, many of us wouldn't be on here based on JW standards. But look how we were pushed. I don't reget it though.

80

At a 2 day assembly ...the point that the brother spoke about that drove me mad....."don't hug your husband, wife or child during prayer".

by crazy2try in

i attended one day of a two day assembly and did ok until the very last talk.

the brother was from bethal and well jw's pay closer attention to their talks, cause that is when some new info is given,,,right.

well anyways i lost focus and began to daydream, cause it became one of those talks that just talks about wasting time.

Crisis of Conscience

I almost joined this forum when the Watchtower article was discussed at the hall.

Then wouldn't you know it, a few weeks after, as I sit down after the opening prayer, an elder from across the aisle whispers to me loudly, "PSSST, PSSST (To get my attention)" And then still whispering loudly and doing a shame on you sign with his fingers says, "You shouldn't hug your wife during the prayer. It's not proper." I gave him a look of disgust and mouthed, "What!! What are you talking about!"

Amazingly enough he didn't say anything to me after the meeting.

Boy did that piss me off! I told my wife about it and how ridiculous that is. Now here is the thing on how I feel. Of the X amount of years that I have been married to my wife, I always put my arm around my wife and she does the same to me during the prayer. Never once in the past was I talked to about it nor was it considered a sin. I went as far as looking up the word the article used, 'embrace.' A word involving two arms around a person, which I'm not doing, but there is nothing wrong with.

Are you FREAKIN' kidding me!! An elders interpretation failed to even grasp what the word means.

Needless to say I haven't stopped doing that nor will I. It wasn't a sin in the past nor is it now! Saying a prayer while being that close to my wife has always been intimate for my wife and I. And I highly doubt I have offended God by doing what I've done all these years. But the GB hath spoken, so let it be done, so let it be written.

Now that I'm done ranting, this next bit is probably TMI. But for some reason, when I first got married and I was a good little JW, every time I studied the Watchtower with my wife, it was on like Donkey Kong. Meaning somehow our clothes came off and we ended up in the bedroom. We aren't that kinky so we never used a threefold cord (no pun intended)!

64

Did leaving the WT build greater appreciation for or kill your reading of the Bible?

by lepermessiah in

jw
friends

i am really on the fence on this issue right now and would love some opinions.. i find that i dont sit down and read the bible for long periods since becoming inactive, but on the other hand, individual scriptures mean much more to me now.. i will sit down and look up some favorite passages from time to time and feel like its the first time i really "got it" - without the jw goggles on.

i love matthew chapter 23, since i think it describes to a tee the situation in jw congregations.

i think if jesus returned today, he would blast the elders and "leaders" of the borg in a similar fashion (along with most religious leaders) .matthew 24 is actually more interesting to me now, simply because my whole life was waiting for the 1914 generation to end sometime during the reagan era!

Crisis of Conscience

I've read the whole Bible 2 times. Once when I was at Bethel, and again over a year ago. But especially in the Hebrew scriptures what stands out to me is the brutality and killing that at times makes no sense.

Now I was thinking, as JW's we try to disprove the evolution theory by asking, "When is the last time you saw an ape turn into a man?" So evolution can't be true and has no basis.

Well using the same reasoning, when is the last time you saw a donkey talk (other than Donkey in Shrek), a snake talk, a person be resurrected or taken away in a windstorm, the sun stand still, the ocean split in half, a man and an angel wrestling, a burning bush, hair that gives you strength? Did these things really happen? I don't really believe it.

Because of never seeing any of these Biblical "miracles" happen in my life, it is very hard to believe they actually happened. Why would God do this in the past to give people evidence of his power and now all of a sudden..........nada, zilch, zero, nothing. What basis do I have to believe? I've lost my faith. And yet for some reason at the moment I feel content. Almost with a "so what, who cares" attitude.

And whatever feeling I may have had of something being real in the Bible, after reading these posts, you freakin' "apostates" killed it for sure!! LOL Thanks!

BTW - I'm still "in."

13

If reading the Bible as a JW, why bother meditating?

by Crisis of Conscience in

i was inspired to write this based on a post in another thread.. as a jw you are told to read and let the bible speak to you.. that would mean that you could reach a different conclusion on a certain scripture or account.

but that may not coincide with what the fds has as an explanation or conclusion.

this in turn, according to the standard makes you wrong if you "want" to be humble and wait for "new light.".

Crisis of Conscience

I was inspired to write this based on a post in another thread.

As a JW you are told to read and let the Bible speak to you.

That would mean that you could reach a different conclusion on a certain scripture or account. But that may not coincide with what the FDS has as an explanation or conclusion. This in turn, according to the standard makes you wrong if you "want" to be humble and wait for "new light."

And in turn makes your meditation a complete waste of time.

Comments?

4

"You Are Not the Father!"

by leavingwt in

its' friday, folks.

have a great weekend!.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgtwssdaume.

Crisis of Conscience

Maury : "So Mary, regardless of the results, you would like Joseph to be Jesus' father or at least a part of his life, correct?"

Mary : "Oh yes Maury. Very much so."

Maury : "And you Joseph?"

Joseph : "I jus wanna know da troof cuz I never slept with dis woman."

Maury ; "OK then. Let's see the results. Joseph, in the case of Mary's son Jesus,..................you ARE NOT the father!!"

Mary : (Sobbing uncontrolably)

Joseph : (Jumping around excitedly) "I told you! I told you! I neva had relations wit dis woman!"

LMBO